So today I am going to retire from coaching after 16 years. I have one more coaching session left. I have fallen into the trap of ‘family committments and not enought time’. There are things I want to achieve in my life that I am unable to do whilst committing every spare moment I have to coaching.
I had planned my departure all season, had many discussions with my athletes and tried to work out the best solution for them all. I have coached many of them for a number of years, seen them all grow from children to young adults and have been proud of all they have achieved both in athletics and in their personal lives. And now I feel very sad to leave them all behind. Is this just a woman thing, do any male coaches get as emotional?
Retiring from coaching feels like like a relationship break-up, its like falling out of love with someone even though they have done nothing wrong, you know leaving is the best decision, but it still feels sad. My identity for the last 16 years has been that of a Coach…and after tonight, that will no longer be true.
The decision wasnt mutual, it makes me feel blessed to say that I know my athletes would prefer if I stayed with them, but I can no longer committ to the lifestyle that being a coach demands. Its been a very confusing time, I cant committ like I used to, but it hurts to walk away, is it the right thing to do for me, is it the right thing for my athletes, was I ever in love with coaching, will I be able to achieve my future ambitions, will I ever coach again?
Over the next few blogs, I will update you on my transition from full time coach back to civillian.
Thanks for reading my first blog, off I go to my last ever session…
