Seeing the lesson in everything

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bianca 2One of the main purposes of this trip is learning how to create a different mindset. I can intellectualize and understand very well the idea that our mindset is essentially responsible for i) what we do ii) how we do it and iii) how much fun we have in the process of doing it. I’m now on a journey to actualize that theory and for me that is learning how to turn my impatience, frustration and fear of failure (amongst many other things I have since discovered!) into something useful.

 

A lot of the courage I have had to muster to explore my own shortcomings has come about from the courage of others to share theirs, so I’m eternally grateful to those men and women! I come to understand that there is tremendous power in sharing and hearing stories of failure as a requirement of success because it humanizes people we respect and admire. It makes us believe we can also do great things.

I have had to rethink almost everything I once believed was true. I have had to reframe and come up with better more appropriate definitions for my own success and my own failure. I have had to rediscover the person I am today and for me, that is the understanding that I am many things, at many different times. I can be strong and also weak. I can be social and also very solitary. The knowledge that my personality is not what I once thought it was, although terrifying and daunting has given me a lot of mental freedom, peace of mind and courage to try new things or old things in new ways.

I’m interested in what motivates us as humans; I’m therefore interested in mindset because it can have a profound effect on us. I believe not only can we learn this; it is worth constructing a mindset that is going to weather the most turbulent of storms. This is wonderful, empowering knowledge – that our quality of life actually sits right there in our own hands.

 

I create situations of difficulty as my strategy for change, to find new ways to deal with challenge. This sounds absurd at first glance – why on earth would I want to do that? The truth is, I needed to and felt ready to change. Five years ago, I wasn’t a happy person. I didn’t know who I was, I felt lost in my own skin and that’s not a place, where great things can happen.

I wanted to create a different mindset because what I had, was not working for the life I wanted to live. I wanted to be a little more resilient. I wanted to learn how to make good decisions and I wanted to effortlessly and graciously deflect the gnawing’s of daily difficulties, something I just couldn’t and didn’t know how to do.

I’ve made things really difficult in my lifetime. I’ve made simple things astronomically hard. I’ve banged my head against enough walls to give myself a permanent headache. Sometimes that is what people like me need to learn a lesson.

My personal evolution on this trip is facilitated through Jiu Jitsu and solo travel. Two things I love but are also very challenging for me. There have been many an ungracious moment, where I have lost my temper on the training mats, much to the dismay of my training partners. I’m not proud of those moments; it’s shameful and embarrassing but I’m human and it is part of my process.

It seems blatantly obvious to me that almost everyone of us, bar nobody is motivated by happiness. The knowledge of this therefore suggests there are certain ways of living that maybe more fulfilling than others.

I believe the purpose of life is to live it fully. I believe happiness is a state of mind we can learn and is not connected to circumstance or situation. I believe our lives, with all the ups and downs are to teach us lessons so we can evolve mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually enough that we can enjoy it.

It therefore follows that perhaps the key is not to avoid or curse the inexplicable sorrows that happen and await all of us but rather just to know how to extract the useful things and let go of the rest.

I saw the below recently as a motivational meme (I’m afraid I don’t know the original source to give credit). I have adapted it a little but I loved the simplicity of it:

“Anything that frustrates you is teaching you patience or to create a new strategy

Anyone that walks away you is teaching you independence and to know your worth

Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion

Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back

Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love

Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome that fear

Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go”

I am learning to walk on my own path – ‘unsteadily’ I might add. It’s rocky, uneven, full of potholes and unpredictable but this information has made my life better. I don’t think the answer is to avoid things we don’t understand, I think it is to find a way to understand things, that give us peace of mind.


Bianca uniformFCN Ambassador Bianca Thomas is on a global journey competing and training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) and Bikini Fitness Bodybuilding. With a strong academic background in Molecular Biology (MSc) and Strength and conditioning (MSc),  Bianca is currently writing her first book called ‘Life Lessons From Sport’ which will be finished in September 2016. The theme is how emotional and mental wellness ‘can’ and ‘should’ go together with competitive sport.

Originally from the UK, Bianca is currently travelling the USA, Brazil, Lebanon, Abu Dhabi, Belarus and Mongolia aiming to train and compete in Jiu Jitsu in each Country.  She is a big believer that sport should be used to improve lives and wants to share the knowledge she is learning along the way to mentor and support others.

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